Funny riddle

I have two hands, a round face, but no arms or legs, and I always tell you what to do, but I never speak. What am I?

A clock. A clock has clock hands and a face, and indicates the time, which tells you your schedule without talking.

About this riddle

Funny riddles trade logic for a punchline. The answer is often a pun, so say it out loud and listen for the sound-alike.

Difficulty: Medium. More like this: Funny riddles with answers or try Wordle for a different kind of puzzle.

I go up and down all day long, but I never actually move from my spot. What am I?

I start out fully clothed, but by the time I am ready to do my job, I am completely naked. What am I?

What is full of holes, yet somehow manages to hold a massive amount of water?

What kind of room has absolutely zero doors, zero windows, and no walls, yet people spend hours inside it every day?

I have a spine, but I do not have a single bone. I have countless pages of stories, but I cannot read. What am I?

I have two legs, but I cannot walk a single step. I have a flat head, but I have no brain to think with. What am I?