I dwell at the bottom of the ocean full of empty holes, drink water until I am heavy, and describe a lazy houseguest who crashes at your beach rental without chipping in. What am I?

I am full of holes, yet I still manage to hold a massive amount of water. What am I?

What happens to a snowman when he tells a terrible joke?

I am a twelve-leaf tree that sheds one leaf every thirty days, only to sprout a completely new trunk when the last leaf falls. What am I?

Surf across my digital highways to browse the global internet, or sweep me aside with a shudder when an eight-legged weaver spins me in a witch's spooky cellar. What am I?

I am a silent weight that instantly sinks a ship if I am spoken aloud. What am I?

I can pierce your skin without leaving a mark, and I can speak all languages while sitting in the dark. What am I?